Tac tac… tac tac… puedo escuchar el incesante golpeteo bajo mi cama. Interrumpe el silencio de la noche, alimenta mi insomnio.
El miedo toma y entumece todo mi cuerpo. Inunda mi mente.
Ésta parálisis sólo me permite mover la cabeza, miro el reloj que yace inmóvil en la mesa de luz. El paso de las horas se estanca y una sudoración intensa se desata en mi. Con la mente en blanco sólo puedo sentir el terror absoluto.
Las sombras se estremecen por los rincones, cobran la forma de seres inimaginables. Me acechan desde la oscuridad de la noche.
El golpeteo sigue, como si una alimaña se arrastrara. Se intensifica.
Trato de mantenerme inmóvil y en silencio, pero la pesada respiración devela mi camuflaje; ya no puedo controlar mi cuerpo.
Quiero saltar de la cama, correr fuera de la habitación, pero no hay a donde ir. La noche reina en todas partes.
Trato de convencerme que está todo en mi mente pero no logro hacerlo.
El ruido aumenta. Aprieto los dientes, cierro los ojos, como si ello me fuese a transportar a otro reino. Se aceleran los ritmos menos el del tiempo. Hace ya un tiempo que miré el reloj; trato de vencer el miedo, abrir los ojos; lo miro de nuevo… tan sólo unos minutos…
No existe oración alguna que se eleve en mi ayuda, nada más queda que cumplir la condena.
El golpeteo es cada vez mayor; mi respiración los sigue. Ya no puedo aguantar el tormento. Mis oídos comienzan a zumbar… ¡Cada vez más fuerte! Mi voz duerme…
¡Cierro los ojos con fuerza!
Blanco. El zumbido se hace constante e infinito.
10.09.2008
9.27.2008
Sin título IV
Que dejen de fluir los ríos púrpuras
que nuestra cobardía sea castigada
que se vacíen las fosas cristalinas
y que la gris tormenta que a la mente
inquieta calle para siempre
con el vil suspiro del amor
y la vacuedad de la tristeza
Que deje de llover sobre mi cama
y que ésta sea la última mañana
El tedio y la monotonía es para siempre
no existe una salida, no te inquietes,
no temas, no quieras, no pienses
porque solo nos queda la inútil espera
el tedio y la monotonía es para siempre!
que nuestra cobardía sea castigada
que se vacíen las fosas cristalinas
y que la gris tormenta que a la mente
inquieta calle para siempre
con el vil suspiro del amor
y la vacuedad de la tristeza
Que deje de llover sobre mi cama
y que ésta sea la última mañana
El tedio y la monotonía es para siempre
no existe una salida, no te inquietes,
no temas, no quieras, no pienses
porque solo nos queda la inútil espera
el tedio y la monotonía es para siempre!
8.16.2008
Untitled XLI
Maybe a glimpse of a life
not suited for my eyes
As there´s nothing in my mind
and much less in my heart
I play the music so loud
perhaps my head will shut down
And now I close my eyes
and imagine me alive
So I've become obsessive
with washing my hands
as they are the ones
that feel the world around
Maybe I'm detached
or maybe I've gone mad
I see the world keeps spinning
and I am here... stuck
not suited for my eyes
As there´s nothing in my mind
and much less in my heart
I play the music so loud
perhaps my head will shut down
And now I close my eyes
and imagine me alive
So I've become obsessive
with washing my hands
as they are the ones
that feel the world around
Maybe I'm detached
or maybe I've gone mad
I see the world keeps spinning
and I am here... stuck
6.25.2008
Untitled XL
So many times I'll say goodbye
to all the words - are left behind
So many ways I'll have to try
before I can unfold my mind
And I may perish without ever
or I may glitter in the heavens
But I will rise above the weather
if I can get of you the feathers
to all the words - are left behind
So many ways I'll have to try
before I can unfold my mind
And I may perish without ever
or I may glitter in the heavens
But I will rise above the weather
if I can get of you the feathers
6.23.2008
XXXIX
A FRIDAY IN JUNE
Like any other, grey and blue.
The rain and the wind
companions to my solitud
smash against the windows' fragile glass
The absence of a fire-place,
in this technological days,
make the scene just more mundane.
The cold reigns inside
as it does in my soul.
Going out is a hard task,
but what wears me out the most
is the thoughts, only the thoughts.
As much noise I hear,
it all bounces in my ear
making of silence a mighy king.
And the beat of my heart
is weakened by this long fever,
it will perrish without ever
at its maximum be feeling.
Without ever achieving the task it was set for.
Not a sound, nor the silence
put my mind at ease.
My exhausted brains
make this whole poor body ache.
And the resting in my cosie bed
becomes the hardest thing to do.
All the singing birds are gone
to more warm places.
They hace taken all the songs
and left only city noise
to increase my torment.
There's many things I ought to do
put upon my shoulders
by the unforgiving rules
of a never resting society.
I don't want to take part on it
as they scare away my sleep.
I need to emancipate from all this filth.
So my mind gets lost and wanders
between more welcoming worlds.
Until it's interrupted
by the most familiar noise.
I cannot get to recognise it
and then I'm taken in a sudden
away from this half-dreams
away from this half-nightmare.
It's the ring of the phone
rising above all.
There's a stock-pile of tissues
to confirm the diagnosis.
I put the kettle on the stove
and hurry back to get the phone.
A voice from other times
swaps away my mind
takes me back to the basics of my existance.
A new world is set before my eyes
where all the magical ideas run wild
They take the form of colorful brush-strokes
and without seeing what they really are
I feel them deep inside.
I do not stand, or lay or sit.
I only feel.
There's no greater good
or an objective.
No more, no less, only what is fair.
An all and a one
of which I'm now another part
but not a part, an idea,
a thought, a whole!
Like any other, grey and blue.
The rain and the wind
companions to my solitud
smash against the windows' fragile glass
The absence of a fire-place,
in this technological days,
make the scene just more mundane.
The cold reigns inside
as it does in my soul.
Going out is a hard task,
but what wears me out the most
is the thoughts, only the thoughts.
As much noise I hear,
it all bounces in my ear
making of silence a mighy king.
And the beat of my heart
is weakened by this long fever,
it will perrish without ever
at its maximum be feeling.
Without ever achieving the task it was set for.
Not a sound, nor the silence
put my mind at ease.
My exhausted brains
make this whole poor body ache.
And the resting in my cosie bed
becomes the hardest thing to do.
All the singing birds are gone
to more warm places.
They hace taken all the songs
and left only city noise
to increase my torment.
There's many things I ought to do
put upon my shoulders
by the unforgiving rules
of a never resting society.
I don't want to take part on it
as they scare away my sleep.
I need to emancipate from all this filth.
So my mind gets lost and wanders
between more welcoming worlds.
Until it's interrupted
by the most familiar noise.
I cannot get to recognise it
and then I'm taken in a sudden
away from this half-dreams
away from this half-nightmare.
It's the ring of the phone
rising above all.
There's a stock-pile of tissues
to confirm the diagnosis.
I put the kettle on the stove
and hurry back to get the phone.
A voice from other times
swaps away my mind
takes me back to the basics of my existance.
A new world is set before my eyes
where all the magical ideas run wild
They take the form of colorful brush-strokes
and without seeing what they really are
I feel them deep inside.
I do not stand, or lay or sit.
I only feel.
There's no greater good
or an objective.
No more, no less, only what is fair.
An all and a one
of which I'm now another part
but not a part, an idea,
a thought, a whole!
Untitled XXXVIII
Fake all the letters I once wrote
all the dreams I once behold
and the smiles I ever gave
fake is being awake
all the dreams I once behold
and the smiles I ever gave
fake is being awake
6.21.2008
Untitled XXXVII
All my words loose their meaning
on this turbulent day
when I realise my mind's so fake
All the meanings loose their words
and time stops itself
say goodbye to what I know
say fairwell to the unsaid
My heart's completly empty
consumed by the mundane
I refuse to live the same
over and once again
It is heavy upon my shoulders
this burden's not mine to bare
and the thinking so fake
thoughts that make my body ache
on this turbulent day
when I realise my mind's so fake
All the meanings loose their words
and time stops itself
say goodbye to what I know
say fairwell to the unsaid
My heart's completly empty
consumed by the mundane
I refuse to live the same
over and once again
It is heavy upon my shoulders
this burden's not mine to bare
and the thinking so fake
thoughts that make my body ache
5.28.2008
Untitled XXXVI
Won't you change
if I give you a helping hand?
will you fade
into the arms of the night?
As the last scrap of hope
turns to gold
we'll greed and become
of them just one more.
So stay at my side
of life we'll depart
And we'll just jump forward
there's no turning back
Won't you say?
just say one more lie
will you turn
turn me into the light
if I give you a helping hand?
will you fade
into the arms of the night?
As the last scrap of hope
turns to gold
we'll greed and become
of them just one more.
So stay at my side
of life we'll depart
And we'll just jump forward
there's no turning back
Won't you say?
just say one more lie
will you turn
turn me into the light
5.26.2008
Sin título III
La cercanía de tu aliento helado y húmedo
me deja sin palabras
Y un sabor amargo
en esta tortuosa escena
El lúgubre conocimiento de tu inminente arribo
más sólo siento el frío
oscuridad plena;
En este, mi lecho lloraré mis penas
mientras espero impaciente
por tu eterna condena
me deja sin palabras
Y un sabor amargo
en esta tortuosa escena
El lúgubre conocimiento de tu inminente arribo
más sólo siento el frío
oscuridad plena;
En este, mi lecho lloraré mis penas
mientras espero impaciente
por tu eterna condena
Untitled XXXV
All my marked books lay on my night table
gathering the unforgiving dust
that depositates within the papers' thin grains
All the books I've been trying to read
sit there still and mock me.
The thick ones, the thin ones, plays and novels
and all my favourite poems.
And I'm too tired, too bored, too grey...
I haven't touch them in days
So they mock me,
me and my pathetic busyness...
me and my pathetic lie.
gathering the unforgiving dust
that depositates within the papers' thin grains
All the books I've been trying to read
sit there still and mock me.
The thick ones, the thin ones, plays and novels
and all my favourite poems.
And I'm too tired, too bored, too grey...
I haven't touch them in days
So they mock me,
me and my pathetic busyness...
me and my pathetic lie.
5.18.2008
Untitled XXXIV
How can I know if I'm real or am not?
How can I feel what I already forgot?
How can I leave all my lies on my rear?
When the reason I breath are those lies
are those prayers
How can I feel what I already forgot?
How can I leave all my lies on my rear?
When the reason I breath are those lies
are those prayers
5.10.2008
Untitled XXXIII
It's been a while
since I've written my lies
It's been a hole
in the bottom of my heart
But I return to you my soul
And I give you all and more
As I stand naked for your eyes
and I make of this...
one more lie
since I've written my lies
It's been a hole
in the bottom of my heart
But I return to you my soul
And I give you all and more
As I stand naked for your eyes
and I make of this...
one more lie
Untitled XXXII
Click!
There it goes again
Click!
Feeling bright or grey
Click!
Just one blink it takes
Click
On and off all day
There it goes again
Click!
Feeling bright or grey
Click!
Just one blink it takes
Click
On and off all day
4.22.2008
Untitled XXX
There's more to me
than you can see
a hidden side
that passes by
unnoticed and unseen
that's all that I have been
and soon I'll be gone
and no one will moan
than you can see
a hidden side
that passes by
unnoticed and unseen
that's all that I have been
and soon I'll be gone
and no one will moan
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