the constant friend and alienator
choking on my throat
pressing on my lounges
But yet distant, behind a veil
the only truth, yet unknown
the flesh that gets rotten
the fetid fumes that eventually fade
....
It is the most extreme sadness
tears my viscera as it goes through my mind
I wish I could happily enjoy drunkenness
but life gets in, reality hits the soul
and not even the amber nectar washes it away
and so is death again, as always, most aware.
....
A great part of my self died today
as I go through life
all sort of pieces have fallen from me
some I lost along the way
but most remained attached to me, dead.
A constant reminder
weight that I have to carry always
wight that's almost to heavy for me to take
but even if more is added
I can bare.
On the verge of falling down to the ground
on my weakened knees
and succumbing to my own horrid dead weight
and if I could see myself from some distance
with all my dead parts on me
I'd probably see myself dragging these parts
but trying, desperately trying
to appear OK to the inquisitive eyes
and I would cover my nudity
even when it is all that remains
....
And poetry is my saviour
and the breath I cannot grasp myself
it is the most sincere reality
and it is also the most terrible pain
and it is also mine
it's mine to take.
and it also fades...
