Cuento muy corto.

Tac tac… tac tac… puedo escuchar el incesante golpeteo bajo mi cama. Interrumpe el silencio de la noche, alimenta mi insomnio.
El miedo toma y entumece todo mi cuerpo. Inunda mi mente.
Ésta parálisis sólo me permite mover la cabeza, miro el reloj que yace inmóvil en la mesa de luz. El paso de las horas se estanca y una sudoración intensa se desata en mi. Con la mente en blanco sólo puedo sentir el terror absoluto.
Las sombras se estremecen por los rincones, cobran la forma de seres inimaginables. Me acechan desde la oscuridad de la noche.
El golpeteo sigue, como si una alimaña se arrastrara. Se intensifica.
Trato de mantenerme inmóvil y en silencio, pero la pesada respiración devela mi camuflaje; ya no puedo controlar mi cuerpo.
Quiero saltar de la cama, correr fuera de la habitación, pero no hay a donde ir. La noche reina en todas partes.
Trato de convencerme que está todo en mi mente pero no logro hacerlo.
El ruido aumenta. Aprieto los dientes, cierro los ojos, como si ello me fuese a transportar a otro reino. Se aceleran los ritmos menos el del tiempo. Hace ya un tiempo que miré el reloj; trato de vencer el miedo, abrir los ojos; lo miro de nuevo… tan sólo unos minutos…
No existe oración alguna que se eleve en mi ayuda, nada más queda que cumplir la condena.
El golpeteo es cada vez mayor; mi respiración los sigue. Ya no puedo aguantar el tormento. Mis oídos comienzan a zumbar… ¡Cada vez más fuerte! Mi voz duerme…
¡Cierro los ojos con fuerza!


Blanco. El zumbido se hace constante e infinito.

Sin título IV

Que dejen de fluir los ríos púrpuras
que nuestra cobardía sea castigada
que se vacíen las fosas cristalinas
y que la gris tormenta que a la mente
inquieta calle para siempre
con el vil suspiro del amor
y la vacuedad de la tristeza
Que deje de llover sobre mi cama
y que ésta sea la última mañana
El tedio y la monotonía es para siempre
no existe una salida, no te inquietes,
no temas, no quieras, no pienses
porque solo nos queda la inútil espera
el tedio y la monotonía es para siempre!

Untitled XLI

Maybe a glimpse of a life
not suited for my eyes
As there´s nothing in my mind
and much less in my heart

I play the music so loud
perhaps my head will shut down
And now I close my eyes
and imagine me alive

So I've become obsessive
with washing my hands
as they are the ones
that feel the world around

Maybe I'm detached
or maybe I've gone mad
I see the world keeps spinning
and I am here... stuck

Untitled XL

So many times I'll say goodbye
to all the words - are left behind
So many ways I'll have to try
before I can unfold my mind

And I may perish without ever
or I may glitter in the heavens
But I will rise above the weather
if I can get of you the feathers

XXXIX

A FRIDAY IN JUNE

Like any other, grey and blue.
The rain and the wind
companions to my solitud
smash against the windows' fragile glass
The absence of a fire-place,
in this technological days,
make the scene just more mundane.
The cold reigns inside
as it does in my soul.
Going out is a hard task,
but what wears me out the most
is the thoughts, only the thoughts.
As much noise I hear,
it all bounces in my ear
making of silence a mighy king.
And the beat of my heart
is weakened by this long fever,
it will perrish without ever
at its maximum be feeling.
Without ever achieving the task it was set for.
Not a sound, nor the silence
put my mind at ease.
My exhausted brains
make this whole poor body ache.
And the resting in my cosie bed
becomes the hardest thing to do.
All the singing birds are gone
to more warm places.
They hace taken all the songs
and left only city noise
to increase my torment.
There's many things I ought to do
put upon my shoulders
by the unforgiving rules
of a never resting society.
I don't want to take part on it
as they scare away my sleep.
I need to emancipate from all this filth.
So my mind gets lost and wanders
between more welcoming worlds.
Until it's interrupted
by the most familiar noise.
I cannot get to recognise it
and then I'm taken in a sudden
away from this half-dreams
away from this half-nightmare.
It's the ring of the phone
rising above all.
There's a stock-pile of tissues
to confirm the diagnosis.
I put the kettle on the stove
and hurry back to get the phone.
A voice from other times
swaps away my mind
takes me back to the basics of my existance.
A new world is set before my eyes
where all the magical ideas run wild
They take the form of colorful brush-strokes
and without seeing what they really are
I feel them deep inside.
I do not stand, or lay or sit.
I only feel.
There's no greater good
or an objective.
No more, no less, only what is fair.
An all and a one
of which I'm now another part
but not a part, an idea,
a thought, a whole!

Untitled XXXVIII

Fake all the letters I once wrote
all the dreams I once behold
and the smiles I ever gave
fake is being awake

Untitled XXXVII

All my words loose their meaning
on this turbulent day
when I realise my mind's so fake

All the meanings loose their words
and time stops itself
say goodbye to what I know
say fairwell to the unsaid

My heart's completly empty
consumed by the mundane
I refuse to live the same
over and once again

It is heavy upon my shoulders
this burden's not mine to bare
and the thinking so fake
thoughts that make my body ache

Untitled XXXVI

Won't you change
if I give you a helping hand?
will you fade
into the arms of the night?

As the last scrap of hope
turns to gold
we'll greed and become
of them just one more.

So stay at my side
of life we'll depart
And we'll just jump forward
there's no turning back

Won't you say?
just say one more lie
will you turn
turn me into the light

Sin título III

La cercanía de tu aliento helado y húmedo
me deja sin palabras
Y un sabor amargo
en esta tortuosa escena

El lúgubre conocimiento de tu inminente arribo
más sólo siento el frío
oscuridad plena;

En este, mi lecho lloraré mis penas
mientras espero impaciente
por tu eterna condena

Untitled XXXV

All my marked books lay on my night table
gathering the unforgiving dust
that depositates within the papers' thin grains
All the books I've been trying to read
sit there still and mock me.
The thick ones, the thin ones, plays and novels
and all my favourite poems.
And I'm too tired, too bored, too grey...
I haven't touch them in days
So they mock me,
me and my pathetic busyness...
me and my pathetic lie.

Untitled XXXIV

How can I know if I'm real or am not?
How can I feel what I already forgot?
How can I leave all my lies on my rear?
When the reason I breath are those lies
are those prayers

Untitled XXXIII

It's been a while
since I've written my lies
It's been a hole
in the bottom of my heart
But I return to you my soul
And I give you all and more
As I stand naked for your eyes
and I make of this...
one more lie

Untitled XXXII

Click!
There it goes again

Click!
Feeling bright or grey

Click!
Just one blink it takes

Click
On and off all day

Untitled XXXI

My hand so stiff
my mind so blank
and me, what me?
so gone and mad

Untitled XXX

There's more to me
than you can see
a hidden side
that passes by
unnoticed and unseen
that's all that I have been
and soon I'll be gone
and no one will moan

Untitled XXIX

You may be gone
but times goes on
so make your mark
come on, shine on!
you'll be forgotten
other wise
though you were good
you failed to rise
so do it now
as you have time
do it now
as time flies by

Untitled XXVIII

I'll say my pray for you tonight
It'll be so loud it'll shake the stars
I'll make a promise I'll walk far
I'll do all that for you to shine

Stay with me for one more dream
and don't let go, don't leave without me
we'll take a leap when time is right
it isn't yet, though it's not far

Untitled XXVII

All that comes to me is sorrow
when I think about tomorrow
the persistance of a compassing time
always locks away my mind

And I get dry and grey and hollow
when I know... it's death what follows

Untitled XXVI

All the words have gone away
of this head that's gone insane
where wit tries but never grows
and the sight is blurred and lost

Foolish nonsense speak all day
and a game noone can play
Hide and seek of the unknown
and the fear of going numb

Untitled XXV

Oh! How I miss you
my black friend
I keep in mind the pictures
of blue ends
Help me write
just once again
help me pass
through that white fence

Untitled XXIV

I could write a million words tonight
but they won't mean a thing
being empty as I am

Untitled XXIII

Beast!
Show a little heart
you in the mirror...
It is there,
and it feels
though you pray
it ain't real

Love!
Love's not all
dare to give it all away
and launch yourself
to other ways
things more real
things like fear
or agony
those are not illusions
those are the most real
intrusions

Untitled XXII

Plenty of nights I do not sleep
it's not that I wake up in weap
nor in pain, joy or sorrow
never thinking of tomorrow

I don't know why that happens to me
it's not as if I feel or think
nor in lights nor in dark
I don't think I don't see
is this life? I don't feel

My winged bike (Children's tale)

I have a bike
which has wings on its side
It has also a bell
makes'em hard as a shell

You can ride it on earth
or on water or sky
but go out of this planet
that's what I'll try

I will go to the Moon
then to Mars and Neptune
I will leave on December
and be back in June

I will camp on the clouds
later on on the stars
I will take lots of cookies
and many chocolate bars

And the distance is big
even more than I know
But the more the Moon glows
the more I don't give a fig

Untitled XXI

ME, I'm not free
Father Time has layed
his unforgiving hands on me
and the chains of society
keep me locked to the colder
In the state I'm in
I may as well grow older

Untitled XX

I choke on this mortal silence
I can feel the cold
coming in through the windows
winter has come in a sudden_

I close my eyes
on this glorious night
Hear only my breathing
and my beating heart
A thought comes fastly
to my mind
but goes away
as it does time

Untitled XIX

I want to be cuddled
into the arms of the night
I give up in this fight
don't want to open my eyes
nor pronounce any more lies
nor a sigle word
or do I?

Hold me tight
mother night
hold me tight
in this final fight

5

Say goodbye butterfly
I won't tell another lie

Say goodbye butterfly
I'll be gone tomorrow night

Butterfly, butterfly
let me hold you one more time

Hold me tight, butterfly
I'll be gone tomorrow night

4

When you see the last star of the night
blooming and glowing a million times
just before the sun goes up
and its shine fades into the daylight

Close your eyes and breathe twice
with awareness on your side
turn three times to your left
and one more to your right
take a leap and you'll be there
where Morpheus' game is fair

You will move between the planes
and the quadrants
time and space

And the lord of the unknown
will uncover a great door
do not fear as you go in
you will be in the in-between

There's a lime tree in the center
of the place that's not a where
you will use it to make juice
and get strenght for the adventure

Take a step as you are called
do not hesitate or you will fall
In the world of the unreal
go and fight for what you feel

The sun bathes the land
and the grass looks like sand
tree leaves glitter like they're gold
in this ground you won't get old.

3

I have said before
but I'll say no more
I have told you once
the truth doesn't weights an ounce!

2

Why does evil comes to mind,
when all I see around is shine?

Why do words get lost in time?
why did my hands cease the fun?

Is it death I see ahead?
of course it is!
If I'm not dead yet

1 (some old stuff I found going through some papers)

No more than a lie
it's what leaves us to cry
No more than a tear
it's what leads us to fear

Untitled XVIII

Sleep, do not cease
let me live a million lives
let me walk throughout the times
let me fall to the arms of eternity
let me feel the lies
and make them look so real
and make my life surreal
and help me lose my mind

To Music

My fingers hurt
craving for your encounter
once again
my soul's restless
aking for the breath of you
your closeness
I can almost feel it
and my mind drifts
and my heart soars
a last time
to finally meet the one above

Untitled XVII

The light's dim
but begins to shine
leaving me at sight
putting me in the spotlight

And the idea of dissapearing
doesn't seem that bad
Going away always calls my mind
but no place I can think of appears to be that far

Untitled XVI

There's a million screams in the night
there's a million fears where I am
and the cold within sophocates my heart

There are drops of blood in the sky
they all seem so far but are not
and between them and me it's only lies

In a cage is where I keep me locked
In reflection where I see me not

Untitled XV

I don't want to go out tonight
I don't want to put on the mask
I've been doing it all week
I't just makes me feel more like a freak.

Untitled XIV

From time to time
I lock myself down
away from the rest
away from what's thought to be best

Untitled XIII

I'm tired of being
awake and feeling

Having to put the mask
to achieve the task

And all the time remember
that I just have to keep breathing

Silly song

Oh! what a world
does anybody knows?
And, Oh! what a boy
the one I'm falling for
when he smiles at me
there's nothing else I see
But Oh! how I know
that he's rather insane
and Oh! how I know
that he makes me feel safe
Oh yes! I can see
that he's the one for me
Oh yes! he's the one
with whom I want to be.

Owl

I see shadows of light
in the dark of my night
in the bosom of my storm
that makes everything look wrong

I see flashes of white
in the black of my soul
all of that makes me act
like a grey night owl.

Sin título II

El rocío en los álamos
que susurran al viento
Que danzando en la picada
nos comparten su tormento
Y nos hablan por siempre
de un llanto secreto

Lágrimas de plata
bañan sus ramas
Esas que hoy están
más no estarán mañana
Son las que caen al olvido
las que mueren en gemido_

Sin título I

Que triste encontrarse
cuando no hay mas nada que encontrar

Que triste despertarse
a la eterna y negra soledad

Que triste descubrir
que ya no hay nada para dar

que el cuerpo se ha llenado de vacío
que estas manos ahora sienten solo el frío
y que a mi estos días tan bonitos
ya sólo me parecen sombríos

Untitled XII

Version 1
A lost poem I found today
But later on
it got lost again


Version 2
A lost poem I found today
But in time
I lost it once again

Untitled XI

Winds of storm inside of me
messing with the grey mass in my upstairs

Winds that keep me running and awake
wether it is night or it is day

Sometimes the rain goes out to shake
my insight life, my own dark way

Untitled X

As numb I feel
as a wagon on rusty wheels
I cannot move
I can only dream my faith

Untitled XIX

I'd like to go to comfortable places in my soul
But where they are I do not know
And if the silence brakes
and the darkness takes
All the sunny places blow away
Like a million stars in the black night sky
Like a million lights in the milky way

Untitled VIII

I see your eyes in the mist
the air, your breath_

The dew is thick I cannot breathe
breathe for me, as I will cease


Fear not! Be gone, like me
my soul